Ouch.

No kinda love tonight. I thought things were cool
between us. Guess not. I dont know what to do.
To move on? or to wait and be patient?
Im so lost right now.

So today I went to church at 1030. Got out and before
I drove home I stopped by HERRR=) car and put a rose
on the windshield. I thought it woulda put a smile on her face
today, prolly needed one.
But not even a thank you from her. I even apologize for doing itand all
she said was "its ok, it was nice". I guess thats good enough
cause i cant ask for too much. Then I text her "Good night"
and i got no love back. "REJECTED"
Really though I don't know what to do. I've been praying
everyday and every night that god gives me a sign or just
help me move on. Maybe he already gave me a sign but I'm
just not seeing it.
They say "If you really LOVE someone then keep fighting for it."
But sometimes it feels like its not worth it.

I just want to thank her for the break up. The break up was a
good idea, because it helped me realized what i was doing. It
also helped me learn and grow. I was stupid and blind to
see that i had something special. But i fucked up I know i fucked up,
I admit I fucked up. But everybody fucks up.
Now I'm here thinking about what could of been.
I messed up a blessing.
But now she's gone and there aint no telling if she's coming back.
All I can do is be patient and wait.
I just hope she's knows that I'm really sorry for the way i treated her and
acted.
I promise that If I do get that chance to be with her again then it would be different,
much different.
No more insecurities, a better TRUST foundation and a BETTERMAN.
But its probably too late.
Well that is all for now. Probably write more about how i feel
tomorrow.